I didn't have much control of my fifties. Six of those years ere spent dealing with a rare lymphoma (blood cancer). But what I do take from that decade is the enormous importance of finding peace in your life; relinquish all people and thing that aren't working for you and embrace the wonderful solitude of YOU; take risks with regard to living a path of soul. Think of your fifties as a transition back to your most authentic self, as you peel away all those layers of behaviors that keep you from pursuing your best self. And be prepared to be pleasantly surprised.
Years ago my friend in her 40’s was told by her therapist that feelings of obligation are more likely to lead to serious illness than feelings of guilt. Saying no (and feeling a bit of guilt) is far healthier than saying yes because you feel obligated (and then feeling irritated and angry that you’ve said yes). As women, this is a can be a very hard one to learn.
That makes sense to me. I think it is so hard to learn as a woman, because it is ingrained in the subconscious by culture and upbringing. I'm only learning now that I don't need to be the one person feeling responsible.
I listen to “Being Her” podcast by Margarita Nazaranko who dishes out plenty of fun advice about creating healthy boundaries and other good stuff. She brought it to my attention in a sassy fun way.
I'm 57. I've learned not to dismiss any discomfort with "that's just what happens with aging." Fix it! Physical Therapy, therapist, coach, doctor, massage therapist. Find your professional helper and make yourself healthy. You're worth it!
Turning 50 in a month and these words speak the truth I long to live into. 🧡 But the fear is real, and the real stuff is real (mortgage, aging car, aging teenager, career-building post-divorce…). So many “buts” to overcome. Still, I want to be this person you describe, and I know she is in there trying to find her way out. Thanks for the encouragement today. 🌻
Women are brainwashed into thinking that our lives are over as we age. Because our looks change. No one is telling a 50-year-old man he's not at his peak.
Doing a detox at any age is a great idea - I'm 63 and still reinventing myself.
I had a phase where I really got into this here is a broken down example of what used to do the trick for me:
- 4 eggs for breakfast with a little high protein cheese on the side & maybe some whole grain bread (approx 40g of protein)
- fruit smoothie with a high quality protein powder (approx 30 g of protein)
- as a snack maybe some fruit & cheese / a high protein yoghurt with fruits or hummus (another 10-20g)
- a high protein dinner (e.g. with 40g protein from meat / fish or beans)
that approximately adds up to the recommended amount, howeverr it is not easy😂 At first I really struggled to get my nody to eat this much but with time my body actually started carving rhis much protein and I felt like I had much more energy when waking up and throughout the day!
I am a certified nutritionist and in training to be a kettlebell trainer, it’s all about meal prep, you don’t need to hit this target every day, but definitely up protein on training days, if you really want help and need a meal plan let me know
The exact one I take (adore this company) is linked here. http://savingdinner.com/collagen Chocolate is good, but I LOVE the vanilla bean. It’s a game changer—helped me grow my hair back!
Right?! I've just put together that I'm aiming for 130-140 grams of protein a day and I'm pretty sure that's way more than I've been eating in a day for a long time. Luckily, I've got my chickens laying eggs for me everyday. I'm increasing it daily but not quite there yet.
Very sound advice! But I'm missing one thing in your list, or at least you don't stress it enough, and that's the power of optimism. Of positive thinking. Of telling yourself (and feeling it in your heart) that you are exactly right the way you are. Just do what you feel is good for you! Don't exchange old burdens and duties for new ones in the form of self-improvement. Be yourself and love it. But maybe that's what's really hard.
Perimenopause and a sick husband started it. His dying kicked it into high gear. I will be 62 this year and have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
Thank you for this. Couldn’t agree more! I just turned 60 and starting at 49, I finally took the steps to become the open water swimmer and writer I’ve always wanted to become. Rewriting my nervous system along the way has been a gift!
I'm 47 and I cannot list all of the things in this article that I am vigorously nodding along to. The lifting heavy things has been especially life-changing for me. Not only am I building my muscle for now and the future, but it's made me feel alive and made me realize I want more ALIVENESS in all aspects of my life! Thank you for this article - I'll be referring back to it often 🩵
I’m 75, and the list of what I would do differently is far too long. However, the list is topped by one thing. I would have started my life as a full-time author much earlier.
This is an excellent article and I found myself nodding along. One of the gifts of declining oestrogen (the hormone of accommodation and people pleasing) is the ability to say 'no' more easily and frequently, in order to say 'yes' to what is most important. Lots of thought-provoking comments. Thank you for sharing.
I didn't have much control of my fifties. Six of those years ere spent dealing with a rare lymphoma (blood cancer). But what I do take from that decade is the enormous importance of finding peace in your life; relinquish all people and thing that aren't working for you and embrace the wonderful solitude of YOU; take risks with regard to living a path of soul. Think of your fifties as a transition back to your most authentic self, as you peel away all those layers of behaviors that keep you from pursuing your best self. And be prepared to be pleasantly surprised.
Yes! Thank you Pat!
Years ago my friend in her 40’s was told by her therapist that feelings of obligation are more likely to lead to serious illness than feelings of guilt. Saying no (and feeling a bit of guilt) is far healthier than saying yes because you feel obligated (and then feeling irritated and angry that you’ve said yes). As women, this is a can be a very hard one to learn.
That makes sense to me. I think it is so hard to learn as a woman, because it is ingrained in the subconscious by culture and upbringing. I'm only learning now that I don't need to be the one person feeling responsible.
Yes! Exactly right!
Thanks for this! I needed to hear it.
Glad you're here, Audrey!
I wish I'd known this years ago. Makes perfect sense.
I listen to “Being Her” podcast by Margarita Nazaranko who dishes out plenty of fun advice about creating healthy boundaries and other good stuff. She brought it to my attention in a sassy fun way.
For sure!
I'm 57. I've learned not to dismiss any discomfort with "that's just what happens with aging." Fix it! Physical Therapy, therapist, coach, doctor, massage therapist. Find your professional helper and make yourself healthy. You're worth it!
100%!
Love this!
💯💯. I hired a life coach and a health coach. Life is good!
Turning 50 in a month and these words speak the truth I long to live into. 🧡 But the fear is real, and the real stuff is real (mortgage, aging car, aging teenager, career-building post-divorce…). So many “buts” to overcome. Still, I want to be this person you describe, and I know she is in there trying to find her way out. Thanks for the encouragement today. 🌻
Arika, stay encouraged! You won't get it perfect, but if you stay with your gut instinct, you'll nail it.
I dyed my hair purple and started a Substack. I do need to get working on the strengthening exercises though.
Hah! I died my hair blue and pink and started a Substack;).
Hmm, try dying the hair maybe? 👩🎤
Right on Valerie!
I just did the Substack bit as loving the grey! xxx
Thank you so much for this. It speaks to me so much. I’m 54 and counting.
I feel a desire to declutter my relationships to preserve my energy and keep my nervous system calm.
I feel a desire to build muscle and eat more protein, to heal my body’s inflammation and preserve my strength for the future.
I feel a desire to use my voice, take up my rightful space and stop apologising for myself.
And you know what … I’m already doing it.
The change is happening. I am transforming.
And it's so exciting.
Hard. Challenging at time. But so exciting.
💃
SO excited for you Katherine!
Thank you! Me too 😊 And for all of us walking this path.
Women are brainwashed into thinking that our lives are over as we age. Because our looks change. No one is telling a 50-year-old man he's not at his peak.
Doing a detox at any age is a great idea - I'm 63 and still reinventing myself.
YES!!! Thanks Wendy for commenting.
How in the hell does one eat 150 grams of protein in a day??? God, I’d spend all day just eating.
I had a phase where I really got into this here is a broken down example of what used to do the trick for me:
- 4 eggs for breakfast with a little high protein cheese on the side & maybe some whole grain bread (approx 40g of protein)
- fruit smoothie with a high quality protein powder (approx 30 g of protein)
- as a snack maybe some fruit & cheese / a high protein yoghurt with fruits or hummus (another 10-20g)
- a high protein dinner (e.g. with 40g protein from meat / fish or beans)
that approximately adds up to the recommended amount, howeverr it is not easy😂 At first I really struggled to get my nody to eat this much but with time my body actually started carving rhis much protein and I felt like I had much more energy when waking up and throughout the day!
Yep, it's daunting at first, but then it's just what you do. The way it makes you feel is incredible!
I do it daily! It's easy, split it up into 3 meals. It's just an increase in your protein is all.
I am a certified nutritionist and in training to be a kettlebell trainer, it’s all about meal prep, you don’t need to hit this target every day, but definitely up protein on training days, if you really want help and need a meal plan let me know
A good quality protein powder definitely helps! Can be added to lots of different things.
recommendation for brand of powder? I couldn't stomach "unflavored" (ha!) vital collagen or whatever it is.
The exact one I take (adore this company) is linked here. http://savingdinner.com/collagen Chocolate is good, but I LOVE the vanilla bean. It’s a game changer—helped me grow my hair back!
If I add a scoop of collagen powder to a smoothie, that’s only 20 grams of protein. So I just need to have seven smoothies per day.
150 grams of protein is 5.29 ounces
Right?! I've just put together that I'm aiming for 130-140 grams of protein a day and I'm pretty sure that's way more than I've been eating in a day for a long time. Luckily, I've got my chickens laying eggs for me everyday. I'm increasing it daily but not quite there yet.
Very sound advice! But I'm missing one thing in your list, or at least you don't stress it enough, and that's the power of optimism. Of positive thinking. Of telling yourself (and feeling it in your heart) that you are exactly right the way you are. Just do what you feel is good for you! Don't exchange old burdens and duties for new ones in the form of self-improvement. Be yourself and love it. But maybe that's what's really hard.
Thanks Anette!
Perimenopause and a sick husband started it. His dying kicked it into high gear. I will be 62 this year and have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
Your next chapter is going to be brilliant, Katy!
Thank you for this. Couldn’t agree more! I just turned 60 and starting at 49, I finally took the steps to become the open water swimmer and writer I’ve always wanted to become. Rewriting my nervous system along the way has been a gift!
Way to go, Pia!! Cheering you on!
I'm 47 and I cannot list all of the things in this article that I am vigorously nodding along to. The lifting heavy things has been especially life-changing for me. Not only am I building my muscle for now and the future, but it's made me feel alive and made me realize I want more ALIVENESS in all aspects of my life! Thank you for this article - I'll be referring back to it often 🩵
Awesome, thanks for taking the time to comment, Erin!
I’m 75, and the list of what I would do differently is far too long. However, the list is topped by one thing. I would have started my life as a full-time author much earlier.
Right on John!
52 and grateful for the wise words of older women leading the way. Thanks for sharing your reflections 🙏
Thank you Vicki!
You are so right I am 66 and about to be made redundant as a Nurse. I should have made changes earlier but I can think outside of the box now
YOu've got this Mandy!
This is an excellent article and I found myself nodding along. One of the gifts of declining oestrogen (the hormone of accommodation and people pleasing) is the ability to say 'no' more easily and frequently, in order to say 'yes' to what is most important. Lots of thought-provoking comments. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for commenting Michelle!