If I Were 50 Again, Here’s Exactly What I’d Do Differently

Because I waited until I was 60 to figure it out

If I were 50 again, I’d be dangerous.

Not because I’d suddenly be rocking leather pants and starting a retro girl band, but because I’d finally understand the one thing that no one really tells you: 

Our culture may worship youth, but you don’t have to kneel at the altar. Aging is a privilege, irrelevance is optional. Use your voice, take up space and never, ever apologize for any of it.

And heads up: 50 is not old! But it is undervalued. Let me explain. 

It’s when those body whispers become full on nudges. 

When your people-pleasing tolerance shrinks faster than your estrogen levels. 

When the idea of “reinvention” starts sounding less like an overly used word and more like a great idea. 

So if I could take a time machine back to 50 with the clarity I have now (and the collagen I wish I had then), here’s exactly what I’d do for my whole self:  heart, mind, body, and soul.

HEART: I’d detox my relationships before I detoxed my liver.

After 67 years of living this one life, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are emotional hoarders. 

For whatever reason, we keep expired connections, ridiculous expectations, and toxic patterns stacked high in the closet of our hearts like expensive shoes that hurt so we keep them anyway.

If I were 50 again, I’d Marie Kondo the hell out of my emotional life.

• Does this relationship spark peace?

• Does this obligation serve any purpose other than make me feel guilty?

• Am I performing or actually participating in my life?

Because here’s the deal: your nervous system doesn’t lie. 

When you’re constantly in fight-or-flight managing out of control cortisol, your inflammation rises, your immunity drops, and your aging process accelerates all throughout your body. 

And the science supports this. Holding onto old resentments can literally increase your risk of heart disease. Bitterness is ugly and deadly.

So no, Sis from down the street doesn’t get unlimited access to your energy just because she has your phone number and texts you memes on the daily and wants you to come with her to pick out granite because she trusts your opinion and not her own. True story btw…

The people pleasing stops when the boundaries go up!  

So set the damn boundaries right now. 

Unfollow. 

Unsubscribe. 

A true detox starts with the people in your life that shouldn’t be there anymore, not some gross green juice that makes you gag.

MIND: I’d stop letting my inner critic run my show

Our minds are like toddlers with glitter glue, safety scissors and construction paper — messy, reactive, and somehow always interrupting any kind of flow you’ve worked hard to create for yourself.

So by 50, most women have unknowingly memorized their self-doubt. It’s become scripted, believed and runs on a repetitive loop.

We’ve repeated the same limiting thoughts so many times, they’ve become default settings:

• “It’s too late.”

• “I’ve missed my window.”

• “I’m too old to start over.”

• “This is just how it is now.”

ALL LIES! And not even creative ones for heaven’s sake. Total BS and we believe it all because it’s become a part of our repertoire.  

If I were 50 again, I’d interrupt the loop. Fiercely with a brutal edit and rewrite.

Neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to rewire) doesn’t expire with your 30’s, 40’s or beyond, it just needs more intention and repetition to support the vibrant life you truly want to live, not the garbage you’ve been believing for all these years.

The part of the brain that reinforces everything is called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). It has no moral compass, no skin in the game, it just does what you direct it to look for and bring to the table. So if you’re constantly scanning for what’s wrong, broken, or not enough — guess what your brain will hand you on a silver platter every day?

Exactly.

I love this quote: “What you focus on grows. What you think about expands. And what you dwell on becomes your destiny.” ~Robin Sharma

This is the quote that rearranged my RAS when I turned 60.

It made me understand the importance of my thinking, that I had the ability to think different thoughts and importantly, that just because I thought it didn’t mean it was true. It usually just meant I had spent a lot of time thinking it. 

BODY: I’d lift heavy things and stop eating like a 12-year-old.

My history with food and my body is a sordid one. 

I started out with a mother firmly entrenched in diet culture and let me know at an early age that dried out breasts of chicken and salad devoid of any dressing was what I should expect to be my sustenance. 

A partial back story, she was a Gloria Marshall Figure Salon spokesperson in the 70’s and actually made a few commercials with Allen Ludden. I remember her perpetual dieting, in particular, melba toast and black coffee for breakfast. Yum.

If I were 50 again, I would have opted out a lot earlier from the diet mentality and stop fearing food. I would embrace the nutrition, wallow in the deliciousness of a great meal and stop labeling food as “good” or “bad”. 

And I would 100% stop punishing myself with grueling workouts because I ate something I “shouldn’t” have. 

The idea that we are either “dieting” or just “letting ourselves go” has to stop. 

It’s that mentality that puts us on the carousel of crazy–with weight fluctuating all over kingdom come; I speak from experience–I’ve been 237 and I’ve been 137. And it’s all due to an all or nothing approach to food and fitness. 

But one thing I know more than anything now that I’ve hit my 60’s: muscle is not going to support your older, aging skeleton unless you do something about it. It’s not going to strengthen itself.

Muscle is our metabolic engine. It protects your joints, helps you manage your blood sugar and helps you get up off the toilet without groaning. 

The research couldn’t be more clear:

• After age 30, we lose 3–8% of our muscle mass per decade.

• After menopause, that number accelerates.

• Less muscle = slower metabolism, plus weaker bones, worse blood sugar control, more inflammation, and a big belly to boot.

If I were 50 again, I’d start eating at least 1 gram of protein per my ideal body weight (150 pounds) to ensure that my muscle was getting what it needs. 

And I’d start resistance training like it was a part time job because it is–you don’t get to turn in your body for a younger, more energetic, less broken down version like you’re trading in an old car for a newer model.

Plus there’s all the collagen, omega-3s, magnesium, creatine, hydration and sleep that needs to now go into your self care routine because at 50, your self-care needs to level up. And let me tell you, it gets more intense the older you get if you want to hold onto your energy, health and mobility.

This is not about your body size, the color of your lipstick or how old you are–it’s about taking exquisite care of what you have.

SOUL: I’d stop putting my desires on the back burner.

By 50, a lot of women have done a lot of living for everyone else. 

We’ve raised kids, held marriages together, kept households running, built careers, survived heartbreak, made sacrifices… and somewhere along the way, our own desires got shelved.

Not because we didn’t have them, but because everything else got in the way and we got used to waiting.

If I were 50 again, I’d stop postponing the things that make me feel fully alive. I wouldn’t wait until burnout or a crisis forced me to make a change.

Here’s the unvarnished truth, sister: you are not selfish for wanting more. 

You’re not flaky if your dreams have changed. And you’re certainly not “too old” to reinvent yourself or do whatever it is that lights you up. 

You don’t need a permission slip to live the life you want. 

So if something inside you is tugging at your sleeve saying, this isn’t quite it... don’t shush it or shame it or ignore it. LISTEN.

Because nothing will age you faster than pretending you’re fine when you’re not. And nothing will light you up more than finally honoring what you want.

Here Comes the Pep Talk...

If you’re 50 right now, here’s what I want you to know: 

You haven’t peaked. This isn’t a midlife crisis either. It’s an opportunity to take a breath and start the process of asking yourself, “What if…what if I decided to become a chef, or an actress or start that retro girls band and wear leather pants?”

Whatever it is, do it. And I know for sure that when you honor your whole self, mind, body, heart and soul, things change. Dramatically even.

So clear the emotional clutter. Train your brain. Build your body. Feed your soul.

You don’t need to be younger, you just need to be fully you. 

Everyone else is taken. 

If this lit a fire in you, come hang out with me on TikTok (@savingdinner) where I’m dishing it out in a big way, or watch for my next course launching soon, Happy-ish. 

And tell me in the comments: What would you do differently at 50, knowing what you know now?